X-Sender: jfloyd@airnet.net X-Mailer: Windows Eudora Light Version 1.5.2 To: jfloyd@airnet.net From: Jim Floyd (jfloyd@airnet.net) Subject: Boss Mo Center seeks civil rights attorney The Southern Poverty Law Center seeks an attorney with substantial civil rights law experience and the talent and determination to develop new cases. Some exposure to education and/or health care law is a plus. Salary is competitive with that of the U.S. Department of Justice. Excellent benefits. Send resume, two writing samples and three references to Legal Department Employment Coordinator, Southern Poverty Law Center, P. O. Box 2087, Montgomery, Alabama 36102-2087. ------------------------------------------------------ Application for Employment To Mark Potok and Boss Mo Fax- 334-262-2419 Sirs, I am James Floyd from Cullman, Alabama and I am immeasurably excited, agog even, in anticipation of working and playing with you wonderful people at the Southern Poverty Law Center. As we progress through this resume you will surely understand that I have, indeed, laboriously acquired detailed knowledge of Boss Mo and his organization. I have devoted much time and exerted the effort necessary to sniff-out the very essence of Mo and the SPLC. The moral direction of this nation may well depend on you hiring me with complete authority to reinstitute the practises of its founders. Tolerance, sensitivity, and lots of love, tons of love, have built this bulwark, this bastion of enlightenment for the world on a brand new, high moral road and it screams for a return to those glorious days. While I am innocent of any affiliation with the legal community, nevertheless, I have attained a high level of competency in the law by studying Mr. Dees's court records on file at the Department of Archives and History, in Montgomery. Ref: case no. CIV. 2114 The thrill is gone! Today's aging SPLC and Mr. Dees are a far cry from the adventurous and socially innovative group that we came to know and love just a few years ago. Return with me now to those daring days of yesteryear when everyday at the Southern Poverty Law Center was filled with living, energetic examples of how love - unrestricted, free-flowing, boundless love could reshape America into the likeness of its creator, Morris S. Dees. Unforgettable lessons from the past If hired, I will, immediately, renew the skinny-dipping- lunch-hour. Yes! We will, once again, all go down to the river, get naked, drink a lots of beer, smoke a little pot and show the corporate world how 'togetherness' can give a whole new meaning to work-time. Ref. Cert. Papers pg. 25, 295 And in the field of race relations, Boss Dees was never one to give only lip and tongue service to the up-lifting of recognizable minorities. No, sir! Mo, always, put his very body and soul in his noble work. Here's a man who laid awake at night planning, scheming even, trying to find a way to share himself, unselfishly, with a young Black girl. Ref. C.P. pg. 459 And who could forget Mo's hands-on approach to the acceptance of homosexuals? How many employees at the SPLC, today, would have the courage to give a naked Charlie Springman a place in bed beside themselves and their mates? Well, Mo did it and he didn't just lay there either! Mrs. Mo described this loving, caring scene; "Uh, we where like pretzels, uh, you know, all wrapped around each other. You know, arms and legs all over... And Morris kissed him, you know, down there... uh yea, his, uh, penis." The old 'pretzel principle' of unity. A great America searching for simple ways to bring us together, to show love, sensitivity and tolerance. Ref. C.P. 24, 339 - 342 Your above advertisement mentions "exposure to education," again, I must refer to the example of our leader, Mo, and his tireless attempts to educate Americas' youth, starting with his own stepdaughter, Holly. If you hire me, we will put a vibrator-dildo in the hands of all the nations' fathers who have sixteen year old daughters. The same brand vibrator would be a nice touch, with an accompanying instruction manual written by Mr. Dees. Ref. C.P. 25, Regarding health care, Mr. Dees's ideology serves as another shinning example to us all. Here is a brave man who did not hesitate to pay to have his and his mistress's baby aborted even at five and a half (6?) months. This, of course, leads us to the subject of family values and how we treat our women. We, desperately, need to reprint and distribute the many contractual agreements which Mo contrived for his wife. Of course, the hate-mongers called it "wife- swapping" but we know it was, yet another, giant step by a giant-of-a-man to give his woman equal sexual freedom. Ref. Exhibit 30 He even committed himself, totally, to his future daughter-in-law. Yes, down by the pool, on the night before her wedding, Morris welcomed her to the family in his own special way! What a man! What a family! Now, we don't want to give people the wrong idea of Mo. He was never a panty-waist little weakling. He was quite capable of wheeling an iron fist when the occasion called for muscle. Who will ever forget that night, in Washington, when his wife and Mr. O'Daughert (National Endowment) where confounded, at a very delicate moment, by Morris and his Private Investigator? From their hiding place in the shower, Mo leaped forward, with fist flying as fast as his camera lens, he shattered her jaw and her chances of looting the coffers of the SPLC. Ref. C.P. pg.13 Some may have problems with Mo's fierce determination to protect the assets of the SPLC, well, such people have no place in the SPLC. We need hard working adherents of the 'tough-love' policies of Mr. Dees. Faint-hearted employees opening mail from Black welfare grandmothers must not think about the consequences of taking money from their meager incomes. Hungry Black kids with gnarling gut pains you have with you always. Mo, unfortunately, will soon retire to his vast ranch and idle away his days floating down the Coosa, a river of memories. He will, no doubt, stop at the sandbar where he had intercourse with Miss Debra Levy while kissing his wife. Ref. C.P. 308 Enough! We are living in a world built by great men like Morris S. Dees and I want to be a part of its future development. I want to mount a white horse along side our champion, our guardian of the high moral road, our social conscience, our pious warrior, and fight those wacko, right-wing, White European/ American Christians, and other damnable dissidents. So, as you can see, if you hire me you will, also, get an in-house historian. Plus, I am willing to go to the police officers and educators of this nation and tell them about little Morris. No extra charge. Justice Department money (as we have long suspected) is fine. Character references; Mr. Louis Beam, David Duke and B. Stocking, San Jose Mercury News. James Floyd 185 Co. RD. 254 Cullman, Al. 35057.
Back to Thought For The Day
Back to Stuff I Wish I Had Written -- But Didn't
Back to Patrick Henry On-Line
.