Soul Snatchers

by Jim Floyd

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ParaFlorida is infamous for piracy, land swindling, crimes against virginity, and alleged holocaust survivor vote stealing or should it be holocaust survivor alleged vote stealing? Whatever.

ParaNotwithstanding and now comes, (ya'll can tell I've been in jail) now comes, Mr. Irv Rubin, who lodged a charge, last week, that Florida had even more seriously debased its reputation by "Stealing the souls of Jews."

ParaIrv went to Orlando to a brand-new Christian-Zionist theme park called Holyland, stood outside, and loudly voiced his latest bowel complaint. His paramount anxiety was/is that this falsely-so-called-Judeo-Christian spectacle will bring about a massive conversion of Khazar Jews to Christianity.

ParaWell, well, brother Irv, I have some good news for you and yo tribe!

ParaI, immediately, contacted several theologians and you will, doubtless, be delighted to know that they don't want you and I have it on good authority that Jesus don't even want you, Rubin. Nobody wants you!

ParaAnd it's sad, it really is sad the way you non-Jew-Jews, Khazars, have been palpated by the Oriental Jew and ignored by the gods. The God of the Old Testament didn't pay much attention to those of you on the dark side of the Caucasus, other than, that thing about Gog and Magog. Then when the Apostle Paul started over there he was stopped by the Holy Ghost. Strange?

ParaYes, I know the story of King Bulan but I'm extremely incredulous as regards this contest between the three religions, Judaism, Muslim and Christian. I just do not believe that the Muslims or Christians wanted your beastly little ancestors. The story is ex parte and too polished.

ParaWhat I believe happened, in 740 ad, was that the Spainish, Sephardic Jews saw a chance to increase their dwindling world population. Their numbers could have been down as low as 300,000 and falling. They let the gap down and allowed the vulgar, fish and snake worshipping, Khazars to convert to a very crude form of Judaism and in so doing added roughly 10,000,000 lice infected, filthy bodies to their numbers.

ParaI believe, after much study, that King Bulan was like Woody Allen and was attracted toward Talmudic teachings because of the little girl, pubic hair thing. Also, Bulan was a serial-killer like Ariel Sharon, whose conduct was not just excused by this gutter religion but sanctioned and encouraged by it.

ParaRegardless, the end-product of this un-Godly union was a non-race, non-Hebrew, non-Israelite, composite of semi-human compost known as Irv Rubin, the JDL's contribution to global warming through flatulence.

ParaErvin, you are a blow-hard bully, the personification of flatulency, and your uncontrollable gaseous emissions stink-up the airways.You are a butt-ugly mamzer, I'm tired of looking at you, and exhausted by your stupid Khazar claims to a Hebrew heritage. You are a fat, greasy, Mordecai Levy with the same non-Jew, Turko-Mongol lineage.

ParaAnd, damn-it you don't own the so-called Star of David! Christians and Muslims had it before you Khazars tried to steal it. Why, hell, I got one painted in the bottom of my commode and it belongs to me!

ParaLook, go to your own theme park, your holocaust theme park and temple, in Washington, that one we involuntarily built and maintain for you on government land, with tax monies. Enjoy yo' fantasies and leave other peoples' delusions alone! Shalom.

James Floyd

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