Date: Thu, 9 Mar 2000 12:05:45 -0600 (CST)
From: James Floyd (jfloyd@hiwaay.net)
Subject: Crow, Jim, Crow!
Public Nuisance
Oh, Lord! It's hard to be humble. So, methinks that I won't even
try. Finally, by damn, I won one!
Civil disobedience is costly and 'per se' representation in any court
is risky and dangerous. But, there comes a time, a time, in pursuit
of our hopeless endeavors, when the guts gnarl, when the hackle
feathers rise, when one says "enough, damn it, enough!"
As you may recall, the darling old ladies at the Alabama/Mexico
Health Department took umbrage over my demands that they bill Tyson
Chicken for the cost of health care given to illegals at their free
clinic.
Then, perhaps you remember, I went to the clinic wearing a surgeon's
mask and exposed the fact that they were mixing local, pregnant girls
together with illegal, wet back, disease carrying, immigrants.
Can't you see it, dear hearts? An aging Don Quixote swimming the
moat, storming the gate of their little fiefdom, and daring to
question their divine, bureaucratic, authority. Oh, the vexations!
Oh, what a nuisance!
So, they declared me a "public nuisance" and out comes two sheriff
cars, they put one serious-looking-guy out, halfway down the hill,
and hauled me off to jail. And, this week, I stood before the bar
and defended meself.
"Yo Honor, there were, according to the last figures available, (1993
survey) 850 thousand bureaucratic units scattered across this country,
with more people working for the government than employed in
manufacturing."
"Sir, it would be outside the human experience for one to believe that
all these bureaucrats are nice, kind, loving, honest people -- devoted
people, who know, better than do we, what is best for us. And that
they only punish old contrarians, like meself, as a last resort."
And so it went! I shamed them, I embarrassed them, I made the judge
laugh at them, I question both their intelligence and integrity. I,
even, put the District Attorney on the stand and prefaced my questions
by asking, "do you remember back when you were fat and poor and lived
down on the south side...?" (he has lost about 60/70 lbs. recently)
And on and on I continued, in the same serio-comical style that I use
in me scribblings, and it worked!
Did I change the world? Nope! The illegals are still receiving free
health care, free day care, and scores of other benefits that my kids
work hard to pay for, both for themselves and the immigrants.
And, at the Cullman branch of the Alabama Health Department, they
persist in exposing pregnant women to rubella and a multitude of
other diseases.
Nope! I didn't wrinkle even one feather amongst the greedy Chicken
Barons or the other treasonous employers of illegal aliens.
'Notwithstanding,' as we say in legal jargon, a fellow just south of
here lost his case, same charge, and was ordered to pay a fine of
$12,600, he appealed.
I done good, folks. And to top it all off, as I walked down the hall,
a rather large, criminal type, fellow ran after me. "Mr. Floyd," he
called out, "Will you represent me, my case is up next?"
"I ain't no lawyer, man," I replied. "Well, will you just come back
in there and talk fer me, please."
Damn! It's hard to be humble.
James Floyd Esq.
.
Back to Patrick Henry On-Line
Back to The Incomparable Jim "Braveheart" Floyd Archive
Back to The Thought 4 The Day
Back to Stuff I Wish I Wrote -- But Didn't
.