Crow, Jim, Crow!

Jim Floyd

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Date: Thu, 9 Mar 2000 12:05:45 -0600 (CST)
From: James Floyd (jfloyd@hiwaay.net)
Subject: Crow, Jim, Crow!


    Public Nuisance

    Oh, Lord! It's hard to be humble.  So, methinks that I won't even 
    try.  Finally, by damn, I won one!

    Civil disobedience is costly and 'per se' representation in any court 
    is risky and dangerous.  But, there comes a time, a time, in pursuit 
    of our hopeless endeavors, when the guts gnarl, when the hackle 
    feathers rise, when one says "enough, damn it, enough!"

    As you may recall, the darling old ladies at the Alabama/Mexico 
    Health Department took umbrage over my demands that they bill Tyson 
    Chicken for the cost of health care given to illegals at their free 
    clinic. 

    Then, perhaps you remember, I went to the clinic wearing a surgeon's 
    mask and exposed the fact that they were mixing local, pregnant girls 
    together with illegal, wet back, disease carrying, immigrants. 

    Can't you see it, dear hearts?  An aging Don Quixote swimming the 
    moat, storming the gate of their little fiefdom, and daring to 
    question their divine, bureaucratic, authority.  Oh, the vexations! 
    Oh, what a nuisance! 

    So, they declared me a "public nuisance" and out comes two sheriff 
    cars, they put one serious-looking-guy out, halfway down the hill, 
    and hauled me off to jail.  And, this week, I stood before the bar 
    and defended meself.

    "Yo Honor, there were, according to the last figures available, (1993 
    survey) 850 thousand bureaucratic units scattered across this country, 
    with more people working for the government than employed in 
    manufacturing."

    "Sir, it would be outside the human experience for one to believe that 
    all these bureaucrats are nice, kind, loving, honest people -- devoted 
    people, who know, better than do we, what is best for us.  And that 
    they only punish old contrarians, like meself, as a last resort." 

    And so it went!  I shamed them, I embarrassed them, I made the judge 
    laugh at them, I question both their intelligence and integrity.  I, 
    even, put the District Attorney on the stand and prefaced my questions 
    by asking, "do you remember back when you were fat and poor and lived 
    down on the south side...?" (he has lost about 60/70 lbs. recently) 
    And on and on I continued, in the same serio-comical style that I use 
    in me scribblings, and it worked! 

    Did I change the world?  Nope!  The illegals are still receiving free 
    health care, free day care, and scores of other benefits that my kids 
    work hard to pay for, both for themselves and the immigrants.

    And, at the Cullman branch of the Alabama Health Department, they
    persist in exposing pregnant women to rubella and a multitude of 
    other diseases. 

   Nope!  I didn't wrinkle even one feather amongst the greedy Chicken 
   Barons or the other treasonous employers of illegal aliens.

   'Notwithstanding,' as we say in legal jargon, a fellow just south of 
   here lost his case, same charge, and was ordered to pay a fine of  
   $12,600, he appealed.

   I done good, folks.  And to top it all off, as I walked down the hall, 
   a rather large, criminal type, fellow ran after me. "Mr. Floyd," he 
   called out, "Will you represent me, my case is up next?"

   "I ain't no lawyer, man," I replied. "Well, will you just come back 
   in there and talk fer me, please."

   Damn!  It's hard to be humble.

   
                                James Floyd Esq.
 
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