Typical LibberToons



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Date: Tue, 28 Apr 1998 08:59:58 -0700
To: mlindste@clandjop.com
From: typical libbertoons  (smaf-toonians@cmsu2.cmsu.edu)

Get over yourself!
Haven't you realized you're the only person who thinks you have 
any sort of intelligence.

-- Goofhead & Wuss

   I haven't heard from these fools for over a year.

   I sort of wonder what brought this on.  Probably these 
SMAF-'Toonians read something critical on one of my many WWW pages 
as being critical of them.  And so it was, although it didn't 
mention them by name, only by type.

   I can see by the e-mail address above that these people are 
living exactly the same way they did in Springfield, Missouri.  
The location may change, but they never do.  Where they be -- 
there be an outpost of sanctimonious white trash.

   For example, the wife is still seeking a degree to teach in 
publik skrules.  Having no mind at all, they wish to get a job 
destroying the minds of innocent others in the public sector.  
They have no child of their own, not that it would matter if they 
did.  Publik skrules are good enough if they offer employment.
Yet they are LibberToons, concerned with smaller gubbnmint. 
And if that cannot be realized through a contraction of the 
public sector, it certainly can be fervently wished for while 
inhaling hallogenic clouds of blue smoke.

   Nor do these LibberToons have a privately owned Internet 
Service Provider.  You see, when I knew them several years 
ago, they couldn't get a telephone in because they hadn't paid 
a $600+ telephone bill.  They liked to make long-distance 
phone calls while stoned on their weed, but paying for the weed 
always came first before paying their justly contracted debts.

   One's first impression when meeting both of them is that 
they both are self-indulgent brain-dead dopers.  All they talk 
about in poly-ticks is the necessity to legalize smokin'-dope. 
So much for the Decline of the West or the rise of the underclass 
in which they had staked out squatter's rights long ago.  They'd 
vote for Pol Pot in a second upon upon name recognition alone, 
looking forward to the day when they could smoke a bale of marijuana 
for the price they now pay for an ounce.  But they still wouldn't 
pay their phone bill with the extra money.  The pocket change saved 
could be more purposefully spent in smoking as many bales as they 
used to spend smoking ounces.  After all, first things first.

   They wanted to join up with a militia unit down in Springfield 
Missouri several years ago.  While they were amicable enough, as 
long as they felt the aftereffects of the last stash, still it was 
obvious enough to all that they were dopers.  Thus it became  
obvious that there were drawbacks to being an "open, public, 
citizens' militia."  After all, these people seemed to have no 
firm sort of character of their own, only a dependent sort of 
mellowness.  What would happen when they got busted by the police? 
After all, if it was obvious to us that these people were potheads, 
then signing up such witless herd-animals in the police food-chain 
could be a serious breach of operational security.  We might as well 
invite the cops along for a training exercise with our "dangerous 
assault weaponry."  Just as these LibberToons have their addictions 
which do not bear police scrutiny, creative gunsmithing is the curse 
of the militia classes.  In the interests of all concerned we 
certainly didn't need to "Feed the Bears."  Most militiamen don't 
have the monomaniacal interests in but one herb that these people 
    Secondly, people who won't pay their phone bill and who 
don't have a car because of their consuming interests don't have 
money to buy a good military-style rifle and 200 rounds of 
ammunition.  Even a good, used Chink-Army-issue SKS cost $80 
then and no telling how many ounces of good smokin'-dope that 
amount represented.

   So these Freedom Fighters, these killer-attack 'Toons, these 
Defenders of Liberty never took to the field with us militiamen, not 
even during the season that the wild sinsemilla was in full bud. 
   Serves 'em right for telling us that they didn't believe in 

   So now they are in Warrensburg, at another kollidge, learning 
. . . . something or another.  And still without a phone or a 
car or a gun.  All their money in bongs. (I said bongs, not bonds.)
Still looking like frumpy lower-lower-lower-middle-class losers. 
Still talking about legalizing smokin'-dope as the end&be-all 
of enlightened self-government.  And probably still attracting 
the interest of the police.
   Oh well, having no interest in gainful employment and lacking 
intelligence enough to be publik skrul teechers, perhaps they 
can stick, like the shoemaker to their last -- and primary -- 
sole means of support in an information age -- as informants.

--Martin Lindstedt, Resistance Political Front
Missouri Libertarian Candidate for u.S. Senator



The above message is true.

The above names have been changed to protect the shit-headed.



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